An open letter to feminists

Published: July 25, 2015
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Dear feminists,

First things first; every time you attack, berate, or try to degrade a woman for not choosing to label herself a feminist, you are in fact, debunking the claim that feminism stands for equality. If you are a feminist, please keep in mind that boys too can be raped. Boys can be victims. Men are also affected by gender roles. Men can feel oppressed. Men can be objectified. Boys’ lives matter just as much as ours. Girls can be misogynists. Girls can oppress. There is more than one gender and feminism should be inclusive. Boys are not monsters, misogynists are.

Feminism is essentially the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. The term is terrific. I support it a 100 per cent. However, the image surrounding it has become one of misperception, separation and disgust. Just because I’m an anti-feminist, does not make me a ‘woman-hater’. Also, it does not mean I want women to have no rights. I like to call myself a humanist — we’re all accountable to treat our fellow humans equally and in the way that is most empowering for all of us. That means we need to comprehend the unique ways that each particular group can get affected, intentionally or unintentionally. We must make sure that no one suffers explicit discrimination or is implicitly treated unequally and disempowered.

I’m not suggesting feminists have to fight for men’s rights. That would be counter-productive to their movement. However, they cannot lessen the severity of injustices that men face.

Feminists believe that women should be able to speak their mind, yet when women don’t want to associate with the movement, many of them are labelled ‘uneducated’ or ‘anti-women’ — the very words feminists are against.

Women can be strong, smart, funny, athletic, independent, phenomenal leaders, hardworking, talented and considerate. Women can also be discourteous, manipulative, abusive, and are capable of oppressing men and other women. I don’t care if you’re a feminist, or an anti-feminist, but if you believe one of these statements and not the other, you aren’t for equality.

Published in The Express Tribune, July 25th, 2015.

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Reader Comments (7)

  • Rasim
    Jul 26, 2015 - 9:21AM

    A little correction to your “narrative”, a more precise definition of feminism:

    “Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to the top 5% of men, but with the benefits being applied to 100% of women.”

    If women want to be CEOs and Directors-General, they might as well contribute equally to menial jobs that are run entirely and solely by men. Feminism will not be a morally honest ideology until a burger-feminist typing away rants in her bangalow’s lawn is prepared to leave her little bubble of safety and security and smash some dents out of a chipped in car door for daily bread.Recommend

  • Raymond
    Jul 26, 2015 - 5:20PM

    The issue is quite well framed here: if feminism is for equality of women to men (pardon the paraphrasing), why do they take up the cause of so many minorities? A cynic would say it’s because they need to bolster their numbers so as to appear more legitimate, but one of the initiated would likely say it is because feminism stands for equality for all, not just for women compared to men. Now, putting aside the obvious contradiction here (you’re either for women only or for all, you can’t be both), assuming that the latter definition is more apt, why then do feminists ignore or outright challenge men’s issues? The only answer then is that feminism really is only to raise up women and no one else (which makes any feminist who supports any other minority “not a true feminist”).

    This is not a problem in itself, there are many charities that focus on only one issue, for example. The issue is that feminism has fragmented and no one has any idea what it’s really about anymore. What we do know is that the many factions often contradict each other, and despite this being a disagreement between women, men are still somehow to blame.

    This is why I’ll never support feminism in its current form. Why on earth would I support a movement that demonises me for how I was born and for my sexual orientation (two things feminism fights against on behalf of minorities, ironically), ignores or maintains the status who of the issues I have, and then lies to my face to tell me they are about equality.

    Thanks but no thanks. Recommend

  • AdVader
    Jul 27, 2015 - 5:20AM

    women’s rights are inhumane, the pill dehumanizes, abortion is murder of the first degree, adoption legalized child theft, ivf mainly defathering and divorce is child abuse, activate fembot-terminator-FU2 now! btw, thats not misogynistic, on the contrary!Recommend

  • Viisshnu
    Jul 28, 2015 - 12:45AM

    Feminism does not fight for equality…. It fights for the superiority of women over men. It fights for a privileged position for women claiming false victimhood on the basis of fudged/gender biased stats. Some flaky concept of empowerment and liberation and all this at the cost of neglecting and marginalising men. This is not good for society.Recommend

  • Jade
    Jul 30, 2015 - 5:30AM

    I’d just like to clarify, humanism is actually a completely different thing than the belief of equality for all humans. That’s Egalitarianism. Humanism is the belief that the matters of people are more important than any religion. Mundane over dogma, basically. Recommend

  • proud of my feminity
    Aug 1, 2015 - 3:46AM

    So all women that complain to men , don’t open anydoors for me , I will pay for my own dinner ?you think feminism empowers you ? Then we as women wonder why their are few men left who value a committed relationship? I was blessed to find such a man. You wonder why men aren’t so accommodating to women anymore? Get over yourselves please.. The enlightenment of the new era of feminism? Has not enlightened or freed us as women . we are only free when we celebrate the differences of each unique gender. Both have something to bring to the table. Recommend

  • proud to be femine
    Aug 1, 2015 - 3:49AM

    So all women that complain to men , don’t open anydoors for me , I will pay for my own dinner ?you think feminism empowers you ? Then we as women wonder why their are few men left who value a committed relationship? I was blessed to find such a man. You wonder why men aren’t so accommodating to women anymore? Get over yourselves please.. The enlightenment of the new era of feminism? Has not enlightened or freed us as women . we are only free when we celebrate the differences of each unique gender. Both have something to bring to the tableRecommend

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