Ranveer to the rescue

My dear friend Ranveer Singh — feisty, charming and incorrigible — has resurrected the fortunes of Taher Shah, the Pakistani musical ‘genius’, who disappeared into ignominy after his maiden classic “Eye To Eye”. Back in the day, I was among the millions subjected to Shah’s ditty, which left me amused, scarred and traumatised. Who would have imagined that years later it would return to haunt us? Shah’s fame (or infamy?) has obviously spread because it caught the attention of Hrithik Roshan, who recently forwarded the video link to Ranveer asking him to out-do it. The latter, presumably ‘impressed’ with Shah’s (dread) locks and Simi Garewal-white attire, got into the thick of the character and dub-smashed the track.

Unarguably, Ranveer has won the internet with the ace spoof. He’s nailed it. He dedicated it on Instagram to his chum Arjun Kapoor, calling him the apple of his ‘eye’. On the other hand, Shah must be in a trance, feeling vindicated with this unexpected attention from cross-border ‘A’ listers. I’m concerned about the boost that this might give him to make a comeback. Then we’ll know who to blame!

Hope for Pak actors

Pakistani cinema never really caught the fancy of Indian cine-goers so it remains to be seen if Bin Roye (releasing tomorrow, along with the Salman Khan magnum opus Bajrangi Bhaijaan) will be an exception to the rule. Hoardings of the film with portrait images of Mahira Khan have been splashed across Mumbai. The Shah Rukh Khan-starrer Raees, which features her, is still a year away from release, so it’ll be a while before she becomes a recognisable face in India.

While on Bin Roye, the trailer of another Pakistani film, Dekh Magar Pyaar Say, hit the virtual world. There hasn’t been an uber-stylish youth romance from Pakistan’s cinema stables for ages, which automatically makes this the cynosure of all eyes. The trailer, with a dub-step version of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan’s “Dillagi” in the background, shows the ethereal-looking Humaima Malick as a bride seen holding a beedi in her hands. (That just did it for me!) Debutant Sikander Rizvi seems sincere and endearing, though it’s a tad bit hard to imagine someone as posh looking as him play a rickshaw-wallah. But this is cinema meray doston and some suspension of disbelief is necessary. I’m sure that the promoters of the film are keen to make a stab at the Indian market too, but much will depend on Bin Roye’s fate. Much anxiety lies ahead for Pakistani cinema. 

It’s the thought that matters

I’ve been sporadically reading about Ayan. Some call her a supermodel, some say she’s just a model, some tell me they hadn’t heard of her till the scandal erupted. Poor girl. She must be pious. She got bail just prior to the 27^th roza, talking of which, it’s the one day (Laylatul Qadr) in Ramazan when I attempt a feeble fast — all for the love of those who brought me close to Islam. This has been a tradition for years. I say feeble because I drink water but starve through the day. So you might argue that this doesn’t count as a real roza, but then I’m no Muslim. It’s the thought that matters. Right?

Tailpiece

Luciana Morad is an angry woman. The former model vehemently denies rumours she conceived her love child with Mick Jagger in a dog kennel. Says Morad, “I am a super-refined gal and would never do this.” So super-refined that she had a fling with the Rolling Stones frontman and destroyed his family to set herself up for life.

Published in The Express Tribune, July 16^th, 2015.

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