On December 5, 2014, one cold Friday night, a 25-year-old woman was allegedly raped en route to her home. In a taxi. In Delhi, India. The furore is expected, the outrage understandable, and the debate on rape continues. Disbelief: it-happened-again. Anger. Shame. Blame-shifting. On December 16, it will be two years when “Nirbhaiya” was raped by six men in a moving bus in front of her friend. Much agonising, soul-searching, public lament, media discourses and passing-of-new-laws later, another case of a woman’s rape in a public place makes uncomfortable headlines. The initial investigation post-arrest of the taxi driver shows his criminal history of assault, which went unnoticed by his latest employer. More outrage.
The company’s negligence may be criminal here, but the issue runs much deeper than the safety guidelines a corporate entity coulda-shoulda implemented. Banning it is not the solution. It’s not even about the newly amended stricter legal system. And it’s not even about the alarming rise in the number of reported rape cases in India. To me it’s about the attitude, the mindset, the ethos behind the violence that overlooks the enormity of this unmentionable crime. It’s the taxi driver’s insidiously nonchalant “ghalti hogayi, saab, kya karun ab?” It’s the “boys-will-be-boys”. It’s the “come-on-boys-make-mistakes”. It’s the “arre-iss-mein-aurat-bhi-kasurwarr-hai-jo-aise-kapde-pehnti-hai”. It’s the “why-do-these-‘modern’-women-think-it’s-okay-to-be-unaccompanied-at-night?” It IS the excuses, the pretexts, the explanations, the justifications. Unless the narrative simply zeroes in on a plain fact, nothing will give. It is very simple. When a woman says ‘No’, it is what it is: a No. Nothing more, nothing less.
Why go into rape statistics? India leads most of the lists, and the US, Germany and Sweden make to those lists too. Why go into the placement of rape-deterrents? Most countries have the strictest laws for sexual crimes. Why be concerned about the high-pitched speeches of feminists and the shrill censure of the parties in opposition? All I hear are the muffled voices of millions of women across the globe who beyond their faith, culture, skin colour, profession, and temperament are victims of sexual violence, in one form or the other, at one point or the other. Millions of these crimes blur into the ‘nothing-happened’ realm, and the victims remain wounded. In the soul after the bodies heal. Millions of these crimes go unreported because underscoring the dishonour of body is tantamount to bringing dishonour to an entire family. Millions of these crimes are perpetuated by those who fall into the category of those who promised to protect the women — fathers, husbands, uncles, boyfriends, friends. Thus, the silence. Who do you turn to when the perpetrator is someone holding you tight, shushing you to calm down, with oh-it’s-no-big-deal?
Women, girls, young boys… all are raped. Demurely-clad girls inside their homes are raped. Old women, barely coherent, are raped. Skinny, wide-eyed boys are raped in alleys, in dark rooms. Infants are raped, snatched from their cribs, their feeding bottles tucked inside their tiny mouths. Dead bodies are raped. Women in their workplaces are raped. Girls in schools are raped.
A rape does not occur because of any provocation or stimulation or for sexual gratification. A rape occurs to unleash an emotion of misplaced masculinity. Of a frenzied anger. Of barely suppressed frustration. Of a show of emasculated power. Of boys-will-be-boys. Of dominating the weak. Of men-can.
It all starts with that subliminal training that boys are superior. That hitting a female sibling is kosher for a boy. That beating the neighbour’s kid is merely puberty. That casual, lurid commentary on females is a display of machismo. That badmouthing/boasting about your girlfriend/fiance, boisterously, among men, is you being a man. That hitting your wife is just another nothing. That mental-undressing of females is your hormones acting normally. That women are there to be taken as and when desired, disregarding that quiet or very clear NO. That when a female’s entire body and soul scream a NO it is not a sign to stop but to continue the violation of her body. Because after all, what is the big deal about disregarding a NO? It is just another word that emerges from the being of a person who you — the rapist — has been indoctrinated to disrespect your entire life: a woman.
Published in The Express Tribune, December 12th, 2014.
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COMMENTS (11)
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@Yo2Da2: Not yet identified as part of the male DNA but indeed violence and especially against women is present with all its manifestation in all societies of the world. However, what is unique in non believers culture is that they encourage and nourish it and therefore unless such cultures are reformed, the man made laws and policing efforts alone will never eliminate this evil.
Rex Minor
Damn and I still thought No mean Yes. Times have changed.
@Rex Minor: Well, Rex, you had to bring half-baked and ignorant ideas about religion and culture into an issue that goes deeper than either. Misogyny and violence are hardwired in the male DNA - there are rapes throughout the world - even in the enlightened West - committed by men living in patriarchal societies. (Any example of matriarchal societies and rape?) Just because rapes may be underreported in Muslim majority countries is not the same as actual number of rapes. The act of rape is a crime and should be treated as such.
Rape is a crime. Those committing rape are criminals. A criminal mind, in all likelihood, will not pity the victim. Those with a murderous intent will kill, no matter what the victim says. Armed robbery is a common crime. Why does the author think that the rapist will accept a 'No' when other criminals will not do so? Beats me.
To me it’s about the attitude, the mindset, the ethos behind the violence that overlooks the enormity of this unmentionable crime. And to me it’s just one of the biggest problems of the world’s biggest poverty, no money for 880,000,000 people living with $60 per month, unbelievable.
You are stuck in the past! Now only yes means yes.
This is a ground breaking radical write up.
It would have been if it was written in 1920s and wasn't the regurgitation of the regurgitation of the common knowledge that has been eaten and eaten again.
ET, I really wished you maintained a certain standard of quality for writing, instead of a certain standard of quality for the writers.
It is not easy to define rape, that is true. But if any body does not accept no for a no, then it is rape, wheather it happens in a bus, street corner or within four walls of home- As it is most of rapes take place at home, since majority of women are not going out alone in Pakistan and. by close relatives. Many call that domestic abuse. In west researchers have found how that can be traced.For example, What could be a sign of domestic abuse? Broken bathroom locks ( forced entry if woman hides) Punch marks in walls Shattered windows Smashed objects Repeated requests for lock changes Complaints of raised voices and shouting. Buit then in west, others can interfere to help, back home women are left at the mercy of men around them.
Madam, why beat about the bush and try to muddy the issue? In all Ibrahimic religion a 'RAPE' is a sinn, forbidden, the only exception being the hindu culture which does not recognise any sin not even a lie, stealing or whatever. Four women for the Brahman, one for the dalit and between one and four for the other caste, says Hindu puranas. Every twenty minute a rape in the village or streets of India, no police force or any laws can stop this outrage let alone prevent it. What do you reckon the world body should do about it if the practice is imbedded in the culture.
Rex Minor