Caretakers and elections

I was entirely satisfied with the choice of Justice Zahid Kurban Alavi as caretaker chief minister (CM) for Sindh. He is a person of unquestionable integrity. As I do not know the CMs of Balochistan and Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa personally, I shall make no comment on their appointment, except to assume that they share sterling qualities. The post of chief minister of Punjab, like the other provinces, had also been up for grabs. Most of the names that had been tossed around like a Waldorf salad were a bit wan and washed up. And then, the selectors must have had a sudden moment of distaff brilliance because Najam Sethi had tipped the scales and was chosen to take the oath of caretaker CM. This was good news indeed, because a representative of the journalist fraternity, rather than an old boy from the feudal network had finally made it to such an elevated post — even though it is only for a couple of months.

I really like Sethi. He is superb in both print and on the telly. He is one of the most clear-headed writers and speakers I have come across in this country and has the rare gift of being able to reduce a bit of complicated political gobbledygook to its bare essentials, in a matter of seconds. He always looks with disdain at speakers in talk shows who give off mixed messages and are in love with words at the expense of coherence or logic. And he is exceptionally polite and gives the asking of permission its faux poignancy. He doesn’t have the manufactured conceit of some of the Pakistani politicians and hopefully will be allowed to fully cooperate with the electoral process without interference from the goons of the former ruling party or the Muslim League.

Lots of people ask me who I am going to vote for on the eleventh of May, as if my vote is going to seal the destiny of this beleaguered country for the next five years. They also ask me who I think will win the election, as if I am on a hotline to the Oracle at Delphi, who as it is, is having a hard time due to the financial crisis in Hellas. I honestly believe social stratification has a great deal to do with the kind of candidate one wants to support. Mind you, unless you trot around the country in order to gauge the collective pulse of the voters in different provinces, predictions will inevitably be based on a mixture of pure conjecture, hearsay, the ability to pull crowds and sheer personal preference.

The people I play bridge with are hardcore members of the bourgeoisie, who belong to the group that says “There’s really no point in voting because the same set of lousy politicians will be returned.” They don’t vote and couldn’t really care less who wins, provided they can take an annual holiday abroad. Among the chess players, who are highly motivated, politically, one is for the MQM, one for the PPP and the third is non-committal. I suspect he is for Imran Khan. The waiter who brings us black coffee is from Punjab and is supporting Nawaz Sharif. The score at half time was a tie. Secular 2- Fundo 1. All four, however, are totally against Pervez Musharraf, whom they regard as the Swiss army knife of character thespians who didn’t do very much when he enjoyed absolute power and might turn out to be an unmitigated nuisance to everybody if he is allowed to remain in the country.

Published in The Express Tribune, March 31^st, 2013.