The awkwardness stems from my first and only visit to the gynecologist – which was about six to seven years ago. My mother, who was pregnant at the time, had miscarried and had to go for check-ups regularly. She took me with her once. That was the last time.
I could sense that we were being judged the second we stepped inside the sterilised white room. The doctor, whose name I can’t remember, was an elderly lady with a black mole on her nose. She kept looking at my mother with accusing eyes and wondered out loud - why people had sex – not once but a couple of times. She also kept asking the strangest questions which made me feel as if we were being tried in court for some heinous crime.
After she had interrogated my mother about how her reproductive organs worked, she turned towards me and asked if everything had been alright since I “hit puberty”. It took me a while to understand that she meant to ask if I was going through some sort of bizarre hormonal changes. While my gut reaction was to run out of the room, I sat there with a red face praying to God that my mother would get up in a huff and abuse the doctor before grabbing me and making for the exit.
However, that didn’t happen. We did leave, five minutes later, and never went back. My mother found another gynecologist and I never accompanied her to those appointments.
After this awful experience, I decided that if I ever had any sex-related issues or disease or infection, I would self medicate or let my body rot before going to a doctor.
However, as my friend’s lady parts threatened to burn and fall off, it became evident that we had to do something. We couldn’t go to her mother or my mother or an older sibling because that would have led to a whole bunch of super awkward questions.
Out of desperation, we asked another friend, who reminded us of the resources available online. For some odd reason, perhaps in our pareshani, we had forgotten to Google her problem. It was then we came across Rahnumma (0800 444 24), a sexual health toll-free helpline. It was like hitting the jackpot.
In a sexually repressive society like Pakistan, Rahnumma lets young people ask questions about sex, health and how to go about it. The helpline connects the caller to a professional counsellor (you can choose if you want to talk to a female or male counsellor). They ask basic details such as – age, location and etc. The counsellor then proceeds to inform the caller that the call is confidential and then asks them how they can help.
While the caller launches into an explanation about how it hurts when they pee, the counsellor listens to their problems patiently and then tackles them one by one. They start with questions like how important is hygiene to you or since when have you had this problem. The confident and warm tone of the counsellor makes the caller trust them. Also, the fact that you don’t have to discuss your problems with a person face to face makes it easier to unload what is on your chest, or in this case, your ‘sensitive region’.
If the trained professional feels that the caller needs to go get a proper medical check-up they say so and if the caller is hesitant, they give them details of how to get in touch with doctors over the phone. At the end of the call, they also tell the caller to call back and keep them up to date with how things were going.
I won’t go into details about my friend’s call, but let’s just say it was like talking to a friend who knew what was wrong and how to make it better. After the call, we sat wondering how many other people our age faced the same issues and avoided doing something about it in case someone found out.
So, if you think you have herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis or need to learn about how many times you should be using sanitary napkins in a month or want to learn about contraception – just call 0800 44424.
Published in The Express Tribune, March 5th, 2012.
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