1. The constant need to say something. A commentator feels he is not doing his job if he allows even a moment of silence to pass. Hence I once heard a radio commentator say, “Mohammed Amir is running in and his shadow is running in with him.”
2. Commentary as PR. Did you know the match is being sponsored by Pepsi? That the batsmen is chewing Wrigley’s gum? And the fielder just opened a packet of GoGo pan masala?
3. Barely disguised patriotism. Commentators are meant to be disinterested observers, neutrally surveying the action. But once their team is on the field they will be more nationalistic than Hitler.
4. Saying the obvious. “The ball has gone to the boundary. That means the batsman has got four runs.” Even my four-year-old cousin is more insightful than that.
5. Sexism: This applies to both cameramen and commentators. Whenever there is a break in the action the camera wanders in the general direction of a pretty woman. The commentator sniggers and then utters a remark that belongs to the 19th century.
6. Reliance on cliché. Sachin Tendulkar could lightly tap a ball which reaches the boundary thanks to a mis-field and Ravi Shastri would say “The ball was traveling like a tracer bullet.”
7. Mystifying variations in volume. “And that is another SIXXX!!”
8. The pre-match interviews. There is nothing more cringe-inducing than a commentator asking the captain if he’s confident, ready to go and geared up for the match. Has any player ever said, “No, I really don’t feel too good about this one”?
9. The post-match interviews. Actually, this might be even more painful. The losing captain walks up and the commentator, usually faking an expression of sympathy, asks, “Well, what went wrong out there?” The answer is always that the other team was better but the commentators expect something different.
10. Finding a woman commentator is about as hard as finding an articulate, interesting male commentator.
Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, July 10th, 2011.
COMMENTS (17)
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2 BIG THUMBS DOWN. Even the valid points are exaggerated.
@Osman: the traditional term for a straight drive that stay on the pitch is bowler's back drive, one of my better shots too ;)
gud one........love 3...........a rare quality in most of indian commentators
I only agree to point 3 & 6, rest is all about author's desperateness to write this a whole article on it.
hahahahaha.....Seriously i didn't noticed that much, Good job
anyone ever noticed how pakistani commentators have a tendency to refer to any straight drive as a 'bowlers back drive'? ive heard this term ever since i started watching cricket as a child and always wondered what it meant. it is indeed unique to pakistan, never heard commentators from other countries using it
Wow, you guys are so freakin' harsh. I thought the article was quite good and raised some valid points.
Unfortunately the artificial need to have "TEN" points of contention spoiled the article at touch. It felt like he was grasping at straws with some of them.
Good effort overall!
A very 'wannabe' piece I must say. Lacks originality on several counts. Clearly the writer has been spending a lot of time on Cricinfo's Page 2 and repeating ideas here. And some of the original ones are just for the heck of it.
Silence on radio beyond four seconds is considered a sin. The listener switches the channel too. As for the rest, well the commentators are there for a reason. You don't want them to state the obvious, you don't want them to vary their volumes, you don't want them to talk to captains before or after the match? Why don't you watch PTV's Khabarnama instead? Or maybe a documentary on NatGeo. Clearly that will be more 'value-add' to your life! Cheers.
Bring back Saba Khalid...she does this section best!
Cricket commentary or sports?
i dnt agree with the writer, commentators actually adds to beauty of the game
This Article is total tym waste ! u should put cotton in ur ear if u have a problem ...i love commentary.... widout commentary sports is incomplete ....
hahha.very nice, i completely agree with point 5 and 8! The rest are somewhat valid too.
This article reflects a nadir in journalistic standards.
If anyone have check-out that Mirza Iqbal baig he will talk about "YE MULTAN KA PLAYER HAI, JI HAN WAHI MULTAN KA JISS K TRAIN STATION PAR RUKTE HI HALWE KI KUSHBU ATI HAI"
damn I even hate this thing including your points :D
Haha tracer bullet!
Another point is Ramiz Raja's excessively dramatic sentence creation. The bat is called a "blade", Shoaib Akhtars flying actions are called "the eagle glide".
Astonishing observations!!! Very good piece...
Ha ha! Fail attempt. Mute your television if you have a problem with how enthusiastic the commentator is or how they merely state the obvious when there's a boundary. Don't understand what you expect of them, to comment on the birds and the bees perhaps. Stupid articles.