Why I think women are stupid

Why do women make monkeys of themselves repeatedly in their intimate relationships with men? When will we learn?

Lubna Khan August 30, 2011
Women, no matter how smart and intelligent they are professionally, are horrendously stupid and myopic where men are concerned.

They can be very assertive with everyone, but place them opposite their lover and they start stuttering (it's happened more than once with me). They are bosses at work, running their own business or office and yet will let a loser run their lives for them. Why?

Why do they make monkeys of themselves repeatedly in their intimate relationships with men? The sheer stupidity displayed by otherwise sensible women in the presence of a man whom they love is baffling.

Is it the way we are raised?

Are we to focus on what we are told about a man in our life that we do this?

But if that is so why do women from other cultures do the same?

In our society a girl is taught to act stupid in front of men simply because intelligence isn't a trait men look for in a woman. We are told that men want women as audience not as participants in any debate or interaction. And our own experience does confirm this ugly fact.

Men want to be the center of attention; they want to have the last word always; they certainly don't want to be upstaged, and definitely not by women who claim to love them. Their girlfriends, lovers and wives are their personal and constant trumpet blowers, one of the sole purposes of whom is to proclaim publicly (loudly and clearly) the wonders of the magnificent and unique man they are with.

It is like an endemic disease, this constant need of ego-massaging; it is rampant, spread everywhere and in all social strata. But, it is astounding that among the so called 'liberal' and 'educated' people, independent women become putty in the hands of obnoxious, arrogant men who are usually inferior to them intellectually and otherwise. I have played dumb so many times in life to please the love my of life that I started to believe in my own stupidity!

Men possess an art of insulting the woman they are with in public, and when alone, it starts as a joke, a loving teasing game, and matures into a power play. The man feels powerful, he feels intelligent, better, more of everything when he is with an intelligent woman who has implicitly agreed to believe and act as if she is inferior to him.

This is an ultimate high for a man, the subjugation of a woman who knows she is being unfairly treated, but deceives herself into thinking that he treats her the way he does (shabbily) because he loves her! How sick and twisted is that, but so is reality a lot of times.

I can understand a man's reason for behaving in this abominable manner, but please enlighten me as to the reasons why we, women let ourselves be treated this way? Then we have the audacity to call this bizarre behaviour love - convincing ourselves that we must be intrinsically happy.

Sadly, a woman treated cruelly by a man, abandoned by one, physically abused by him, left and dumped for another woman will be on the look out for another such character! As far as I am concerned she deserves what she gets!

When will we learn? Why are we so dependent on such men?

I think women are stupid to want men in the first place, and then stupider to let them treat them badly over and over again.
WRITTEN BY:
Lubna Khan An ex-civil servant and literature buff who is a full time mom to a 12-year-old.
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.

COMMENTS (94)

Lydia Carson | 3 months ago | Reply

I'm a married woman in my 50's, a lawyer with 4 kids. In my opinion most women seen dumb not because they are submissive (which in fact is a necessary trait for women who seek to marry a leader, successful, alpha or ambitious male, aren't created to seek out wives that compete with them for authority, that is an unchangeable fact that women should accept if they must keep a man and a successful family) it's that they are so easily deceived by any ideology that puts on a female empowering tone and completely accept the remainder of it's content even when it's false, ideas such as not catering to your husband's ego are bound to create a gap in the intimacy, after all why should a man make a woman feel loved and respected like she needs to thrive when his woman refuses to make him feel and treat him like the King in castle? It's a selfish ideology to expect then to care to our needs and ignore theirs, after all men thrive and remain in relationships where they are shown utmost respect (assuming he truly loves his woman), its a give and take matter and most most women are easily deceived into ignoring this fact or challenging natural male psychology as tho men are wrong for wanting to be treated as king yet we should be treated as queens. So many women are the common factor in their failed relationships and are too blind to see that THEY are the problem, their emotions and ego cause them to completely reject logic, they want to be God recreate man in her own preference. If a trait is common to most men it is a part of their natural state. Many men overlook the foolish things their women do (especially young women) and still treat us with love and care. Most women when are still young and immature including myself believe that we are the center of attention and any man would be lucky to have us, and we fail to improve ourselves and desirability, are obsessed with airing our opinions no matter how foolish they sound even after we've been proven wrong, we are loud and argumentative and wonder why our relationships crumble, we want men to understand us yet we refuse to understand them, we are always right no matter how many times we've been proven wrong, it is simply immaturity and nothing more should be expected than failure when we refuse to learn and accept facts. There is absolutely nothing wrong in building your man's ego and making him feel so good he runs to you when life outside of home has fatigued him, we should learn to give it we are to receive, we are not stupid for having a successful marriage, rather the fools are those who are stuck in a bitter state that blocks their reasoning and allows their emotions to destroy a good relationship when they finally find one. A foolish woman fails to distinguish between mere emotions and truth. Now I'm saying this from the perspective of a woman that has a great husband that takes care of me and our kids and is supportive of my career, and I expect myself to be nothing short of his peaceful oasis, this makes him run to me only when he's down but even when he's excited and happy he wants to share that energy with me. The article seems to speak to bitter and older single women with failed relationships. Initially as a young woman I hated the fact that men could continue to produce offspring until they die and could easily abandon and replace any woman that they felt was too stressful, purposelessly talkative, argumentative and refusing to learn and be molded into what the man she has chosen needs her to be. Apart from bitter women and older single women and young immature women (not all young women are mentally immature, many are, even older women in their middle 30's are) feminists also maintain this anti male dominance mindset for too long and realize the reality when it is too late and they are no longer desirable to men, get stuck in a state of bitterness. I'm speaking for the good men out there that care of home, they deserve everything they need from their woman. Women that are in happy relationships and are happily submissive to their men, shouldn't allow negative ideas about men pollute their minds and destroy their happy relationships, we not superior to our men, and we are not meant to be the King in our relationships, we are equal but meant to be queens in order for peace and harmony, treat your man like less then be ready to accept less from him. As for the bad and incapable men, the weak men, the wicked men, I do not consider them as men and I do not address them bcos any self respecting woman will stay far away from such. Many women come from broken or cracked homes and have nothing to pattern their relationships after, so they carry on the same mistakes and negative cycle, beats me why we don't learn from the mistakes of our mothers, aunt's, cousins etc and learn from the women that have maintained successful relationships. Many women secretly or sub consciously want to be the man, so they are not submissive and very rebellious towards men. Such women should ask themselves if they truly want to be in a heterosexual relationship. Finally, women are not dumb, many of us just fail or refuse to learn from the past and accept the facts no matter if we like them or not, so we make the same mistakes over and over and don't learn until we have lost what it takes to attract and keep a man loyal, and we place our focus on the bad men and bad past experiences and have so much baggage then wonder why we don't have successful relationships with our men.

Reality40 | 2 years ago | Reply When were these women ever normal? Never.
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