The question of marriage

For a single girl in Pakistan to decide whether to get married or not, is a hard decision, especially when divorce rates are on the rise. The existing trend of extramarital affairs, greed, fraud and several other factors deter girls and their parents from going into a marriage.

All parents need to consider these factors before taking the final decision. Normally men say that getting married means moving towards hell but this is a crucial time for girls, many of whom feel that marriage is not a game, but a commitment. It requires an understanding with the spouse on a level where trust can be built. The couple must be able to care for one another and take a moral path.

Girls, for the sake of their own satisfaction, need to think a thousand times before settling down and there is no harm in doing so. Pushing girls into getting married when they don’t want to, is an immoral and naive practice that is a norm in our culture. Our society does not necessarily embraces or encourages girls in their twenties to remain independent and focus on their careers and instead prioritises marriage.

In the cases of arranged marriages, girls can at times be vulnerable and helpless in the face of a complete stranger. Is he trustworthy? Is he greedy? Will he ditch me? Is he going to accept the fact that I want to work even after marriage? What if he is one of those who beat their wives? Living in a male-dominated society where many men think women should only work in the house after marriage makes things for a girl who is independent and educated quite difficult.

It is important that parents leave the decision of marriage to the girl, so that they may decide on their own of what to do with their lives. Since marriage is a decision that has a lifelong impact, there should be no hurry when taking such a decision. Girls should be independent before marriage so that they can effectively decide what they really want in life and how they will manage their life after marriage.

I believe that single girls, who have fewer familial responsibilities have a higher chance of conquering the world and bringing about change in society, as opposed to married girls who tend to get weighed down by social pressures and expectations in our culture.

Parents need to understand that they must not force their daughters into getting married.

Published in The Express Tribune, November 11^th, 2015.