Does unfriending your spouse on Facebook help your marriage?

At least 20 per cent of internet users believe the internet impacts their marriage negatively


Web Desk September 08, 2015
PHOTO: FSNWPA

According to a New York based therapist, everyone should unfriend their spouse on the popular social media platform, Facebook.

After unfriending his wife on Facebook, Ian Kerner said his married life improved remarkably and he encouraged his clients to do the same.

"I realised for a little while with my own wife that I didn't really want her to be my friend on Facebook," Kerner said.

Read: Facebook testing M, a personal assistant to Messenger app

"I didn't want all of that extra information. If anything I wanted less information — I wanted more mystery and more unpredictability. I didn't want to know that she was posting about being tired or having her third coffee for the day. So I specifically unfriended her during my brief tenure on Facebook. It's something that I do recommend to couples," he added.

According to a  2014 Pew Research Center study, 25 per cent of polled adults in long-term relationships saw their partner "distracted by their mobile phone while they were together," with 8 per cent arguing over time spent online. Those percentages spike to 42 per cent and 18 per cent, respectively, for respondents ages 18 to 29.

Licensed therapist and couples councelor, Kerner said that "unknowingness" can be an advantage in relationships.

"Put the devices down," he advises, adding that "Studies have shown that even if there's a device nearby, it can change the texture of a conversation."

Read: 4 problems faced by couples with a wide age gap

"When you add up all of the periods of distraction that devices give us, you might have a lot of time that you could put towards your relationship," Kerner said.

"We live in a culture where sex ruts are epidemic and people go to bed too tired to make love — they have no time for each other. And yet they're spending hours a day on social media, on blogs and on Netflix."

Kerner suggests that if unfriending your spouse seems a bit harsh then couples should spend less on internet-based entertainment together for some time.

This article originally appeared on Today

COMMENTS (3)

Milind | 8 years ago | Reply Not just your spouse, one should unfriend all your friends on Facebook and see how your (actual) friendships improve,
Ayesha | 8 years ago | Reply I have left facebook about a year ago and THAT honestly improved my life a LOT. As far as un-friending spouse is concerned I agree to that actually. It is about giving each other some due space to be 'ourselves', just the way we do not listen to each other's conversations with our friends and family and we do not check email inboxes of each other, just like that we kept our facebook accounts private as well. I know that he shares his political point of views on many facebook groups and I do not want to see all the debates and arguments he had with other people. Likewise I do not want him to see that I am asking for a specific recipe to my facebook friends that I'll cook in the evening so I can surprise him. I also act differently with my old friends and family and I do not want him to know everything that I share with them all the time. I am not on Facebook anymore but if I was present on Facebook, I wouldn't have added him. If something significant happens in our lives and our e-lives we share that thing with each other anyway.
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