Political theatrics

The writer is an Islamabad-based journalist whose reports frequently appear in The New York Times salman.masood@tribune.com.pk

On Punjab’s political landscape, Governor Salmaan Taseer and Law Minister Rana Sanaullah are locked in a perpetual war of words. Their sparring and jibes at one another get stronger every day; their mutual scorn more intense. Governor Taseer has an abrasive wit, an acerbic sense of humour and an ‘I don’t give a damn’ kind of attitude. Rana Sanaullah likes to stand on a moral, conservative pedestal and take a swipe at the occupant of the Governor House.

If Sanaullah portrays his Punjabi masculinity through his twirling moustache, Governor Taseer puts forward his corporate, don-esque image through designer shades. If Sanaullah seems uncomfortable in a western suit, Taseer seems equally ill at ease while sprawled on sofas wearing a kurta shalwar. If Sanaullah defends and patronises religious extremists, Governor Taseer acts like a mother hen to the liberal and secular crowd. Taseer likes to spread his venom and wit particularly through Twitter. Sanaullah seems content with local news networks. Sanaullah condemns the governor for hatching conspiracies. The governor criticises the law minister for hatching even more sinister conspiracies.

Both have weathered the wrong side of the so-called law. Sanaullah faced the wrath of intelligence agencies during the Musharraf era, having had his moustache shaved off and being beaten black and blue. Taseer fled a police raid during the Sharif’s rule while riding a motorcycle and a towel wrapped over his head. While Sanaullah remained faithful to his party boss, Taseer deftly managed to placate the former military dictator and expanded his business empire.

It seems that both gentlemen are, in fact, mirror images of one another — though they belong to different mediums of expression and articulation.

Should politicians stoop to such wrangling that borders on the bizarre and the ludicrous? Perhaps not. But politicians have often indulged in such theatrics; their verbal brawls often override and overshadow political dialogue.

The governor and the law minister are not the only ones whose vitriol against each other has made headlines.

The acrimony between Syeda Abida Hussain, former ambassador to the United States, and Faisal Saleh Hayat, former interior minister, raged on for a long time and bubbles up occasionally even now. Sheikh Rashid Ahmad, the custodian of Lal Haveli and a victim of the Lal Mosque operation, was notoriously famous for his obscene and innuendo-filled speeches, though of late he has sanitised his outbursts. The interior minister of Sindh, Zulfiqar Mirza, is also known for his fulminations and a constant outraged tone. But Taseer and Sanaullah provide the most colourful spectacle.

Can the two happily and peacefully coexist with one another? A rapprochement between them seems unlikely right now.  It ensures constant fireworks and a very enjoyable repartee. I’d rather that they don’t step out of the boxing ring. Keep punching, guys!

Published in The Express Tribune, December 19^th, 2010.