“King chips, chocolate biscuit, lemon biscuit, Lay’s blue-walli packet, one Pakola, one Coke, one Twix but if you can’t get the Twix get Bounty.”
“Ma’am mein abhi pump gaya tha. King chips khatam ho gae.”
“Mahim! King chips are over at the petrol pump.”
“Ok. Er…Lay’s.”
“Mahim ke liye Lay’s le kar ana, magr red walli.”
“Faraz!”
“Ji ma’am!”
“Aj kitne hue?”
“Ma’am, paanch likh dain?”
“Faraz!”
“Ok. Ok. Mein check karta hun.”
At least five people were killed in separate acts of violence. [Delete]
At least five people were killed in Karachi on Friday.
“Ma’am SIX!”
At least six people were killed in Karachi on Friday.
“What day is it today?”
“Mahim, it’s Thursday. I just told you.”
At least six people were killed in Karachi on Thursday.
“Mahim, wo story ke sath picture nahi he.”
“Saifi, mera sar laga do.”
“Mahim, wo, pura nahi aega.”
“Ma’am, 7!”
At least seven people were killed in Karachi on Thursday.
At least seven people were killed in Karachi on Friday.
“Mahim. Sherry’s saying that he won’t be filing that mangroves thing today.”
“I’ll wring his neck. SHERRY!”
“Yeah. I’m really sorry but unless I actually go to the place. You know. And today I had to do the seminar.”
“Hmmm. Ok. Tomorrow?”
“Yah. Definitely.”
“Here listen. You guys. What the hell is going on? It’s 8:45pm and NOTHING has been filed. What does this look like? A monthly magazine? Saad? Noman?”
“Bas abhi file karta hun. Last sentence.”
“You haven’t even started typing.”
“Abhi aa raha he. Abhi. Bas abhi.”
“I’m going to wring your neck. The event finished at noon. What the hell have you been doing all this time?”
“Mahim, wo traffic… and bike mein puncture.”
“I’m not taking it today.”
“Mahim! Please. Pleeeeez.”
“Nope. Sorry. I’ve already told you a million times. The pages are already late.”
“Mahim, chips.”
“Thanks darling”
“Mahim, peg samaj me nahi aa raha tha.”
“What do you think the peg is?”
“Well, the guy said the usual stuff. All of it was the exact same stuff. We need more funds, the government is corrupt. They’re calling the Chinese in…”
“Whoa…. Whoa. Stop. They’re calling the Chinese in?”
“Ji Mahim.”
“Buddy! So that’s your peg, na. What’s the matter with you? You had it right all along. Just trust yourself and finish it up.”
“Acha. Chinese?”
“Yes, Chinese.”
“Ma’am. 8.”
“Faraz, mera number mila do. Nine people dead. Headline banega: Express Tribune ki city editor ne khud kushi kar li.”
“Ma’am woh, crime map pey jaega? Page 18 par?
Published in The Express Tribune, April 12th, 2012.
COMMENTS (14)
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ET. why you presmed that every one would be able to understand the rudu lines between the English. You title was scholking but the details were different. Is this the quality of you paper? You really disappointed me.
LOL Brilliant!
Ye ET hai k TT hai? trying to be humorous over those who got killed because of violence.. Feel so sorry that its coming from the city eidtor.. Very sorry..!
Not worth publishing!
@Truth Teller: Buddy it's a copy of an editor's daily routines at work, thats all!It surely went over my head!
Hilarious!I can totally put myself in your shoes.Remind me of the time when I was working in Nawa-e-waqt.I've witnessed this desperations of sub-editors and city editor.golden time.
This is true Mahin Killeng herself ?
Loved it!
I honestly don't know if I should laugh at such wonderful humor. Its amazing how you made it sound "less" depressing. :|
interesting and addictive style of writing
well done, though im unsure how many of your readers would be able to pick up the message and this style of writing.
Hahahahha!
Just made my day! In fact, my weekend! Sharing this with all my editor buddies! Thanks for a hearty laugh!
Heading says Commits suicide after killing herself??? Can you please explain the difference in suicide versus killing herself. I am confused??? Also what is it with chocolate biscuits and chips??? Anyone could go beserk with this diet!!!