It is a cool and windy evening, slow jazz plays in the background and a red carpet is rolled outside the heaven’s gate; we are expecting some guests. All kinds of dishes are on the menu and angels are dressed up in tuxedos. The residents of heaven are experiencing a mix of panic and excitement because their guests are about to make a graceful entrance. According to Divine News, the arrival of some timeless musicians, evergreen actors, stylish ladies and tech geniuses is expected any minute.
Divine News reports that the creme de la creme played an important role in making the earthlings smile in the toughest of times and have left a great impact on the entertainment industry. A major chunk of these special guests belong to Pakistan, maybe because the country has too many of them, or maybe because it was just a bad year for the creative industry of Pakistan.
The guest line-up includes: Dev Anand, Jagjit Singh, Maqbool Sabri, Moin Akhtar, Mansha Yaad, Babu Baral, Liaquat Soldier, Mastana, Amy Winehouse, Steve Jobs, Randy Savage (Macho Man) and Elizabeth Taylor. The music has now changed into a grand anthem and the angels have gathered around the gate as the spotlight follows an elegant lady who seems “taylor” made for the red carpet. Paparazzi angels have encircled her and are hovering around impatiently to get the best shot.
Anand is busy trying to impress Winehouse with his Bollywood stories and special dance moves while swaying his hand in the air. Winehouse, on the other hand, is distracted by Singh’s graceful demeanour and soulful voice.
Singh is busy sharing a light moment with Moin Akhtar, as the two, by virtue of being trendsetters in their respective fields, have a lot more in common. Their discussions on Mirza Ghalib’s poetry, the pointless Indo-Pak rivalry and their subcontinental jokes are beyond Winehouse’s understanding.
Storyteller Mansha Yaad is carefully observing the scenario and tracing Winehouse and Anand’s activities with a hawk’s eye. He already has an experimental short story titled ‘Sitaron ki Jannat’ churning in his mind.
Sabri has opened up a musical therapy clinic where he brings the misguided children of God closer to the Almighty through his qawwalis.
Soldier, Baral and Mastana have formed an improvisational comedy troupe and are learning the heavenly stereotypes.
Macho Man is giving tips on how to be a ‘Macho Angel’ and is surrounded by a number of fan angels with autograph books. He is also advising them how to buff up their bodies in the busy heaven routine and has recommended a strict diet plan with strenuous exercise.
The angels spot a middle-aged sage and inquire, “O blessed one, what were you known for? To which the mysterious man replies, “I am Steve Jobs. I was behind the scene, making sure everything goes according to plan, Apple sponsored this trip”. The angels, who confused Apple with Adam’s apple, were corrected by the tech wizard, “My Apple technology made gadgets look cool. Is anyone of you interested in a free MacBook?” As the angels flock around the gadget and look at it with amazement, the host of Divine News asks for leave and requests the audience to stay tuned for further updates.
Great people leave us every year but this year was one of the cruellest in the entertainment history. It is time to say good bye to 2011 and welcome 2012 with high hopes and less losses.
Published in The Express Tribune, December 30th, 2011.
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