Being entertaining or informative, or both, on the radio require hours of preparation. It’s the homework that goes into a broadcast that creates a distinguishable product for listeners. But when it comes to public radio on AM and FM frequencies in our country, homework is a key missing ingredient.

When private radio channel FM100 came around some 15 years ago, the state mobilised its vast resources to challenge it. Armed with a new team of young broadcasters, state-owned FM101 tried to provide quality programming to an audience which would have accepted a new entrant at the time. Unfortunately, it failed because of archaic tube transistor modelled radio technology which spewed inferior sound quality and because it gave zero attention to branding and marketing. Radio Pakistan is capable of more — it is a powerhouse of broadcasting knowledge and experience. From news and information to intellectual discussions with the most brilliant minds in the country, from live music and poetry recitals to radio dramas, Radio Pakistan used to make their programmes to perfection.

Public radio around the world remains an important medium of information. But with the pathetic quality of programming in Pakistan, few rely on the state for entertainment or information. This hasn’t dissuaded the government to keep spending our tax money on running several FM station frequencies which rebroadcast AM programming, such as the hourly new bulletin. Originally, FM101 was supposed to break the monopoly of FM100, but with the forward thinking of Pemra and the issuance of 500 licenses, this need is diminished.

Why does the state continue to operate a failed unit? In the present situation of the devolution of federal power and the preference towards privatisation, all FM channels of Radio Pakistan should be sold to people who can transform these channels to something listenable. Otherwise, a public-private partnership being courted by the National Highway Authority’s new FM radio network could be a workable alternative to privatisation.

I used to think that AM radio should also be privatised, but on a recent trip down the motorway, I was pleasantly surprised to listen to a radio drama after decades! The drama was an intelligently crafted piece on promoting behavioural change with regards to women’s health in rural areas. Above all, the drama was entertaining. I also heard an interesting Punjabi show explaining when to sow crops, what fertiliser to use and which soil tests to carry. Rural areas can still benefit from AM Radio although that, too, will diminish as the reach of FM penetrates the smallest of cities.

The crumbling state of state radio can still be saved. With a proud history of a hardworking staff, Radio Pakistan could still be the source of information and entertainment it once was. I wouldn’t want anyone to say that a failing institution of a failing country is only to be expected. Vision and good leadership can bring back its lost glory.

Published in The Express Tribune, December 13^th, 2010.

Technology has brought the world closer. A little too close for comfort. Gone are the days when the radio jock used to wait by the phone to answer a call on the ‘hotline’ and receiving gratuitous acknowledgement of the sexiness of his (or her) voice.

Through the magic of SMS, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, comment boxes and other tools, feedback has become an instantaneous reaction to what jocks say and do.

And for the most part it is fantastic! You get to interact with a larger group in a shorter period of time. You learn about listeners’ tastes, you quickly figure out which songs rock and which don’t, and you sometimes get help when you’re stuck trying to remember who starred in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

But the dark side of this liberating, get-close-to-me, technology is the liberty which allows just about anyone to criticise and vent — and this, if done constructively, can really help prepare for the next show. Criticism equals learning in my tattered handbook of Radio for Dummies. But the figurative line is being crossed more and more everyday.

This brings me to me something called ‘pseudo socialising’ — the phenomenon in which people talk and react differently when they’re not physically in front of us. For instance, it is far easier to call someone a “douchebag” under the anonymous guise of a text than to their face.

With this in mind, I would like to organise the first Society for the Prevention of Cruelty towards RJs (SPCRJ). Its mission will be to educate the listener so they do not comment on our accents be they fake, burger, ABCD or just plain stupid. Listeners should not ask us about our sexuality no matter how we sound nor should they call us demeaning and hurtful names. The list is long and includes a ban on listeners giving the threat of never tuning in again if their request is turned down and saying things like “stop talking and play a song”.

If listeners think that there are too many adverts, why take the time and effort of texting in? Why not do what I do — flip the channel.

Apparently, this not only applies to jocks it applies to writers as well. There’s a whole lot of blogging going on by anyone who thinks they can write. I’ve seen social commentators get blasted on newspaper sites just for voicing their opinion. Well, of course, that is the whole point of commenting – sharing your opinion whether it is different or similar to the writer’s – but there are two ways of going about things. The right way and the wrong way.

There’s a lesson for both parties here. If you are in the public eye (ear is more appropriate for my field) then be ready for criticism. You think Howard Stern took criticism negatively? He wouldn’t be making 350 million dollars with Sirius if he did. And if you’re a listener and you don’t like something, remember: you have the power to choose. Choose your words wisely or choose to be constructive in your criticism.

Join the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty towards Radio Jocks today.

Donations of goodwill, love, and understanding are welcome.

Published in The Express Tribune, October 13^th, 2010.